I know what you're thinking and let me start by saying, not that kind of self love. Not that I'm not a fan, it's just not today's sexy topic.
Last month I took a trip to my favorite clothing store for ladies with curves, Torrid. While I was searching for just the right item to spend my precious birthday gift card on, I over heard two women shopping a few feet away in the bra section. And being the nosey writer that I am, I couldn't help but evesdrop as they grew closer.
One friend was saying "No, I'm just getting a bra. Don't try to get me in all those crazy clothes you are always making me try on."
The other woman responded, "This would look great on you."
First woman, "Maybe when I lose some weight. But I can't wear that now."
At this point they were next to me, and it just popped out of my mouth, "Yes! Wear it now."
They both turned to me shocked at first, then the second woman said, "See, she knows."
The first woman shook her head vehemently. "I can't."
As I watched her, I realized she didn't feel worthy. Her long beautiful brown hair was pulled back so tight in a ponytail I thought her temples must have ached. Her plain black t-shirt had no cute pictures or sassy sayings. She stood next to her stylish friend completely un-embellished, not because she didn't like a little bling, but because she didn't believe she deserved bling.
My heart cried out to her as they moved away discussing what they would and would not buy. I wanted to drag a soapbox into the middle of the isle and tell her, 'NOW! The time is now for you to love yourself. There is no waiting.'
But I will tell you...Now! The time is now for self-love, regardless of size, shape, age or situation.
Why do we blush at the thought of saying at least to ourselves, hey you're cute, a great person and maybe some lip gloss would enhance your smile? Why instead, just because we are not perfect, do we think, "If I use lip gloss someone might notice my smile!" Okay this is an extreme example but, why didn't that woman by a pretty shirt? Arrrggg!
We are not models, not any of us women. Too thin, too fat, too this, too that! Our figures may not be what we would like them to be, but, damn-it! If we don't love ourselves and show ourselves kindness, how can we expect others to? It grows from there. How other people view us is a direct reflection of how we view ourselves. Don't believe me? Here is proof. I began my own self-love renaissance about 4 years ago. Six months into it we went to a holiday party, and I overheard one of my husband’s friends tell him, "I don't know what's gotten into your wife, but Damn!" Here's the truth. I had not lost weight, or had a face lift. I'd simply started loving myself enough to wear the cute pinup clothes and flowers in my hair merely because I loved them. Nothing special. Still just me. But a happier me.
What if we all just said simply, "I'm me, imperfect and wonderful, and I am worth a little lip gloss?"
This is my challenge to you TODAY! Name one thing you'd do if your body, hair, smile (whatever) met your own critical standards. For example, would you wear a skinny belt on the outside of your sweater because that look is soooo cute? But first you'd have to do enough sit-ups so your stomach was a bit flatter? Then it would be okay to wear something that cute? DO IT! Do it now! Please stop waiting to show yourself love until you think you are worthy of love. You are worthy now. Once you believe, soon enough others around you will too. And if they don't, who cares? A haters gotta hate, don't take that away from them. Because truthfully once you love yourself, the rest is just icing on a cake.