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The One Question No Woman/Wife/Mother Likes to Answer

9/16/2016

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​What's the one question no Woman/Wife/Mother can bear to answer?

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​What have you done for YOU lately?

     Sometimes even though we absolutely love our children, husband, house and maybe even our jobs if we are lucky, there is still that moment when you wake up in the morning, sigh heavily and say, ‘okay here we go again’. That is caused from self-neglect. And I will tell you from experience; it doesn’t go away unless YOU change it.
     You run around all day, gettin’-r-done, taking care of the people in your life that rely on you for everything from clean socks to date-night. Witnesses hail you as Wonder Woman in the wake of your accomplishments. So I ask the taboo question, when was the last time you did something that was all you. Not squirt, not the hubby, not the bake sale, not the sixth committee you signed up to be second chair on and the first chair lady bailed so now….. (you know how that story ends). Just YOOOOOOU.
     Neglecting your own needs, dreams and desires is a dangerously bad habit to get into. I am not saying put yourself in the front of the line. Come on now, I’ve been on that crazy train called first day of school, and being first in line just isn’t happening for the CEO of a family. Experts say a happy mom is a happy family, but I submit those experts have never had to wrangle four kids at 6:30 AM and still get their own teeth brushed. I know the truth.

     I know that if you put yourself first, the rest of the world will spin out of control off into the vast universe, and you will be the one who has to go chase it down and rope it back in. BUT, I am telling you now, years of pretending that's okay, or that your needs don’t matter will take their toll. Eventually you lose track of who you are without the appendages of children and hubby.

     Don't panic, I am not saying you need to come first, to maintain an identity, but you have to at least be on the ‘top ten’ of your own to do list. It’s about balance. You can take care of everything and take care of yourself a little too. I swear.

     Think about it a minute. We plan our kiddos parties, we plan date night, we plan dinner, heck…some of us even ‘plan’ to clean house (not me, but some of us). Perhaps, in order to find time for yourself you need to actually put ‘you’ on the calendar, and keep that appointment with yourself. That way, you know when it's coming, which gives you time to prep for it and make it happen. NO excuses. 

     I’m not going to lie, I am as guilty as the next momma. I also struggle with making myself a priority, so I had to do some research to figure out what 'doing for me' even looked like. I read a book The Art of Extreme Self Care by Cheryl Richardson. I did enjoy the book, although I think her budget is very different than mine, but the basic concepts got me thinking, what did I do in my life that was all about me? The answer was a big, fat negatory, nada, zilch. This is what happens when you neglect yourself for many, many years. So, at the ripe old age of 46, I embarked on a journey to find myself, which I will share in future blog posts for anyone else who finds themselves on this path.

     If you’re like I was, and have no idea where to begin, another good place to start is Jenny Penton’s Vlog, Project Me). I stumbled across her YouTube channel this summer and watched this post where she reinforced everything I was feeling and thinking.  Only, she goes about it in a more organized way than I did. She plans for herself and makes it happen, which I love.

     If you just want to start small and need some ideas, read my blog post 5 Ways to Pamper Yourself When You Are The Cheapest Woman On The Planet.

   So my question stands, what have you done to take care of you? Or… what will you do?

     I would love to hear your ideas and plans in the comments below. 

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