I am here today to point out that when the focus of sex becomes all about being HOT, there can be a danger that it also becomes less about the connection between the two of you. Corny I know, but the best sex I've ever had with my husband has been in the heat of the moment. No planning. No worrying about the right lingerie. No thoughts about what position to transition to for the best penetration and stimulation of the g-spot.
The physical act of sex has become so focused on erotic experience, I can't help but wonder if all of us everyday people (I hope it's not just me) have begun to feel that in order to have a satisfying sex life, we have to constantly up the anti. Finding that next level of kink to push past the doldrums. But in that process, we can lose the sensation of the world falling away as we stare into each other’s eyes and connect emotionally.
Remember that feeling the first time he touched you? Were you worried about getting in the right position? I dare say no. You were focused on the texture of his skin against yours and the way he smelt while he breathed on your neck. Your leg found its way to wear it needed to be without direction from you. I guarantee it.
I propose a smarter way to better sex. A level of intimacy that can only be achieved when we let go of the physical aspects around us. Don’t get me wrong, spanking, squirting, and handcuffs all have their place, but is it possible to loose the emotion behind sex when worrying about how to get and stay in the twister inspired position? Where is my leg? Is my ass jiggling? Please don’t touch that fat roll! Any of these thoughts sound familiar?
But how do you take sex to the next level without adding porn style kink at every turn? Make damn sure, whatever flavor sex you’re having, the focus is all about the connection. If you can’t remember how to get back to that connection, there is an entire practice based on doing just that called tantric sex. You can follow this link to find out the basics from the pros. If that seems a little intimidating, here is a simpler break down on reconnecting with your partner from the Huffington post.
I am not saying experimentation and setting the mood is a waste of time. Not at all! Planning a sexy night experimenting with pleather body suits and candle wax can certainly get things going. If that is your new adventure, go for it! Just don’t rely on it. Kink doesn’t fill your heart. I think you would do better to enrich your sex life by focusing on your senses. That moment when he reaches out to touch you, let everything else go. Be in that moment, nowhere else. Let the world fall away. Touching, feeling, tasting and smelling your partner is more important than the rubber suit riding up your ass.
Just my two cents.
Anyone out there brave enough to share what they do to reconnect with their partner?