What is "Sexy"?

What Is Sexy? What does it mean, exactly?

What is sexy? The eternal question. As romance writers we should know. But I will tell you, even I forget sometimes. So after my editor told me to let my hair down and hit my love scene again, I went on a pilgrimage to answer this question. Here’s what I found. The big secret is… (sorry Mr. Gump, I’m gonna twist your words a bit but…) Sexy is as Sexy
does.  That’s right, the big thing that separates Bombshells from Mousey Marms is attitude. Nothing more. Seriously. Follow me for a minute, I’ll prove it.

In today’s society we are more bombarded with sex than ever before. Commercials about ED fill the airways letting us all know just how important this aspect of life is. But has this in your face approach caused us to become numb to it? Where did the sexy part of life go? 

Back in the 50’s the TV couldn’t show a man and woman shared a bed, (think I love Lucy) Women were taught how to be sexy on the QT. Mothers taught their daughters. Life magazine even ran a spread in 1937 dedicated to teaching a woman how to undress in front of her husband to keep their interest (I came across this http://www.howaboutwe.com/date-report/how-to-undress-in-front-of-your-husband-circa-1937/ while doing some research). Think on this for a minute, in a time where Glamor ruled the roost, women went to extremes to be sexy. Girdles hid our flaws. Women resorted to drawing a seam up the back of their legs when war rationing made stockings nearly impossible. 

Now that sex is blatant at every turn, do we take it for granted? I will admit as I sit here writing this blog I am wearing my old ratty pink fuzzy slippers in front of my husband. I wear them because they are comfortable and warm. Sex appeal…ZERO. As a society now that we have become comfortable with sex, has the sexy side of life left most of us behind? I set out on a mission to reclaim the “Sexy” in my life. I found a pair of peep toe shoes, and a local nonprofit photographer and here were the results…

 ****Pictures courtesy of Schmuncan Photography***

 These are not models. They are everyday women,
moms and wives showing their sexy side. Now, maybe a modern pinup girl shoot is not the answer to reclaim the sexy in your life. It doesn’t have to be so extreme. It could be something as small as wearing heels under the desk while you are working on your WIP. Or, buying a shade of lipstick more red than you would normally wear, AND WEAR IT EVEN  IF YOU WON”T SEE A SOUL THAT DAY.  If you have long hair usually in a barrette, go to your stylist and tell them you want bangs to frame your face. (It’s just hair, it will grow back.)

  Step out of “comfortable” for a moment and try sexy on. Sexy is not a stick thin 19 year old with rock hard abs. I am 40-something, plump and learning to incorporate sexy into my everyday life, not just special occasions. My husband doesn’t know what hit him. Sexy is as sexy does.  Words to chew on.  As romance writers, we should not just
know this, we should revel in it. After all isn’t a romance novel built on sexy?